BANana's

Tuesday, December 20, 2005:

to pull at these ties would tear at the flesh..

Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills'
Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie


I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way


It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry


I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
Allenini // 5:43 PM

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Monday, December 05, 2005:

When i become sad... when my heart hurts... i dont realize it hurts until i sleep... and i dream and remember my dad... everytime an important person leaves... it reminds me of my dad.
Allenini // 12:15 AM

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Sunday, December 04, 2005:

Sometimes ... some things are so broken, they can never be fixed... Would it be stupid to even try?
Allenini // 4:54 PM

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I'm like a VCR.....I'm easily replaced, but not easily fixed.... Do something that i'm proud of... be proud of what i do Look to the future... but remember the past. My #1 lesson to anyone... DOn't assume what u don't know... and you don't know anything... everythings constantly changing, be open to addapting to alternate thoughts and viewpoints. Don't be so sure of yourself
I feel like i need to talk to you but for once in my life I don't know what to say. I feel as if something went horibbly wrong and that i'm the one to pay. If i were to travel back in time a year from now ... and tell my young self how it would be. He wouldn't believe me or understand what I see. I'd beg and beg for him to make the right choice. So when I returned to the future, I could rejoice. But instead of revealing myself i'll keep things this way. And it looks as though this is how it will to stay.

Allen's plans hm... i needa finish up any projects before the 25th 25th surgery, then after that no more physical activity for a while (6 weeks aprox.) Chill for a while until the 13th. Then time for boston... be back on the 20th. It'd be easier to just fly to san diego direct. But Daniel's parents wanted me to help dan move in.... hm.... ok major dates: 25th Goodbye to my pointy nipple... we had some good times... i'll miss you 13th-20th boston.
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