BANana's

Friday, September 30, 2005:

"How You Remind Me"

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"

yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

it's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"

yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what i really am
This is how you remind me
Of what i really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"
yet, yet
are we having fun yet [3x]
Allenini // 2:59 PM

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This is a post from connnieeeee's xanga... not really sure what the last line means:

"my friend wrote this for a lit assignment (the blank after dear is intentional):

What we had I cannot even say

Dear ________,I’m not very good with words, you know, though I think you do. You could probably tell by the way I mumbled and stumbled around my words struggling to find the right things to say. The right things to say to you to impress you. Did you know that? I hope you did.

I also hope that you know that I loved you.
(Yes, it’s as simple as that)

What we had, I cannot even say; it was a complex relationship filled with rickets and gaps and little nicks here and there. Imperfections that were constantly raised to the surface, yet repeatedly smoothed over, patched up, fixed (though not really). We grew faded and worn over time, I believe. I like to think of you like that warm penny in the bottom of a jean pocket—the one you know is there, all the time, and you touch it every time to remind yourself of its presence. Yet you really cannot use it for its worth, because it’s existence is comforting to you and you don’t want to give it away to just anyone.

Does that make sense? I told you I’m not very good with words.

Anyway, I hope you know this. I never got a chance to tell you these things, at least, not without starting off and ending uncertainly with you looking perplexed and me feeling embarrassed. I love you, and that’s that and so let me keep loving you—and let me end this pretense.
(let’s not be friends)
"
Allenini // 8:04 AM

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005:

TigerKat8: ALLLEEENNNN!! I HOPE YOU COME TRY OUT!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!


Thoughts: i know philip and kathy want me to try out, but if i do it has to be because i want to and not because someone else wants me to.

motivation: to prove to myself that i am not handy capped

What ifs:
what if i dont make the team
what if i have to drop out mid way through because of my body
what if i have to accept that can't do it

My Mog Ate My HW: are ur guys' wongfu thing a big hit at SD?ALiuzer: yeahMy Mog Ate My HW: cause my friend was telling me about it today hahahMy Mog Ate My HW: wow, nice niceALiuzer: lol we're big everywhereALiuzer: i went to the east coastALiuzer: and someone recognized me in bostonMy Mog Ate My HW: wowMy Mog Ate My HW: ur famous, allenMy Mog Ate My HW: don't forget us :'(ALiuzer: i wontMy Mog Ate My HW: k much thanks hahahMy Mog Ate My HW signed off at 1:26:41 AM.


THoughts: i wont forget the important people in my life.

hmmmmmmmmmm
Allenini // 11:09 PM

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Monday, September 26, 2005:

CHECK OUT www.siraah.com AND DOWNLOAD THE TRACK YOU ASSCRACKS! SUPPORT YOUR SOUTH ASIAN ARTISTS OR ELSE WE WILL BE ENGINEERS ONLY FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!
Allenini // 6:24 AM

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Sunday, September 18, 2005:

Everyonce in a while my mom says somethings that really make sense to me:

When she saw the donation letter for the hurricane victims and she said...
We have wood boring beetles and we're already complaining like crazy when we should be thankful that we still have a home.


Fishes to avoid eating:
King Mackerel
Sword
Shark
TilesFish? Tifesfish?
Allenini // 7:16 PM

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Friday, September 16, 2005:

Scene with doctor telling them it could be days months years:


Friends waiting outside for him to get ready. Washing Face, gel hair.

"How long will he be in this room for"
"Could be days months, years."
"Guy walks out "goodthing it didn't take a year"
"It took u that long to put that on?"


Scene Girlfriend talking to him:

"Wake up!"
Guy"What do u mean... i am awake"
Maybe have the heart beat thing from hospital, he can hear it, or the intercom "Paging doctor so and so"

Scene girlfriend pleading to him to come back:

"PLease _____ come back to me!!..." Girl is crying guy does not know why.
Switches setting to girl at hospital. She's crying and she notices his pulse getting faster. In his world, he starts hearing the heart beat machine, but it fades in and out, he hears parts of reality, and starts to chase. Girl dissapears, but says "Follow my voice." He either chases the voice, back to the accident scene or to the hospital. If he chases back to the accident scene (We can either repeat the same footage as earlier in the movie... ORRR... repeate it from an alternate view, Like him watching himself go through the accident), Thats when he remembers being taken to the hospital, bring back to scene of accident, except this time we fill in the whole where he remembers going to the hospital, and remembers being rushed to the ER, Where he passes out... Screen fades black. Then hears voice of girl "I love you soo much and i cant just let you be like this forever.." or something like that... Screen fades white. finally wakes up
HAPPY ENDING TO BE WRITTEN.


TEll clark to keep IV stuff. Get a screen saver of heart monitor whatever

Hints:

Quote at beginning:
"Perhaps it is better to wake up after all,even to suffer; than to remain a dupeto illusions all one's life."

So story begins, best friend is a girl, main character a guy, has a good life, then either tries to commit suicide (car passing out), or has an accident. Time laps. Friends family are happy he's ok back to school like normal. Then has the perfect life. Girl raises the question "How long are you going to live like this?" Out of the blue, or "wake up "

Wears same clothes as the day of the accident:
When about to wake up, so right before the reliving of the accident, he looks at his clothes, and has a flash back to the accident wearing the same outfit. Or... he has two outfits, one during the day and one at night

have to have a scene of:
the sky and clouds and an upward shot of the main character
Allenini // 11:36 PM

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possible essay topics:

Its the students that make a school great.

not enough to see the present, but rather to predict the future. (katrina internship)

Better to step back and take a broader look on life. (why i want to do business)
Allenini // 4:08 PM

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Thursday, September 15, 2005:

Down a glass of bleach to cleanse my blackened soul.
Down a bucket of charcoal to fill this empty hole.

passion has been replaced with desperation
Allenini // 9:45 PM

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Tuesday, September 13, 2005:

can someone tell me when life gets easier?
Allenini // 7:25 PM

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Saturday, September 10, 2005:

So.... dream dream dream.... metal thing, mission, drain guy, headlock, milk, dad... church dinner, didn't have to be there, wake.
Allenini // 12:26 PM

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Friday, September 09, 2005:

i'm such a waste of life.
Allenini // 11:32 AM

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Forget everything about me and who i am.
I'm a waste of time... i am sam
Allenini // 1:42 AM

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Let me be this ball of rage
It wont last long, its only a stage
And once the distruction around me settles down
I'll see what friends are left to be found.
Allenini // 1:27 AM

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The objectives were met, but the mission was a complete failure.

and on another note i'm a horible son.
Allenini // 12:25 AM

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Wednesday, September 07, 2005:

Allen Who?
Yeah.. lets not talk about that.

kepani: just get a puppy

A kitten would be nice.


ALiuzer: HEY
ALiuzer: lets go look for baby animals
ALiuzer: where do we find some
kepani: hehe i love baby animals!
kepani: lol
kepani: umm no idea
ALiuzer: ok well i think i'm gonna go look for some baby animals this week
ALiuzer: hahah
ALiuzer: yeeaah
kepani: heheh
kepani: sounds good
kepani: where?
kepani: hahah
ALiuzer: petco?
ALiuzer: u think they got some of those?
kepani: hehehe oh yes
kepani: are you gonan get one?
kepani: lol
kepani: remember when i had a hampster?
ALiuzer: no
kepani: well i had one
kepani: until it ran away
ALiuzer: u did?
ALiuzer: ok


ALiuzer: what makes matters worse, is i got owned by like a 8 year old today
ALiuzer: i asked him what his name was
ALiuzer: and then he said vincent
ALiuzer: and then he said, "you stink"
ALiuzer: ouch...my pride
susu: lol....
susu: who was this?
ALiuzer: i dont know... some kid in our house
susu: lol
Allenini // 12:32 PM

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The roles are reversed in a dream you once had.

I guess... it is hard to sympathize with someone you dislike... even if you've been in the same situation before.

All i've really wanted and needed from life.. is some consistancy.
I got locked out of my house last night.. .haha that was fun, got home from chris' around 12:30, opened to the garage to find out the inside door was locked, called moms cell atleast 15 times. I called the house phone once, but tried not to cuz i know the people living in our home would have gotten mad. Even though ... eh maybe i'll finish my story later. its time to sleep.
Allenini // 9:55 AM

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Tuesday, September 06, 2005:

HEy....Late at night... when murky waters start to brew, its best to put the pot aside, and just rest.
Allenini // 5:55 PM

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Sunday, September 04, 2005:

Knowing me will only make u worry excessively throughout ur life.... cycle cycle cycled... stopped
Allenini // 1:18 PM

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