BANana's

Tuesday, June 28, 2005:

ugh....gasp ... pant......hyperventalating noises.......ohhh my gosh, there's a gigantic screw stuck in my right ass cheek.... LoL ugh atleast thats what it feels liek...it hurts so bad... if i were ever married would i tell her how much it hurt? what would be the point... there's nothign she could do about it and it would only make her sadder. . .i wouldn't want to bother her, but... errrrrrr it hurts sooo bad.. so bad... so bad.
Allenini // 3:44 AM

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Monday, June 27, 2005:

"And already...my love for you lasts a life time, so learn to love yoruself for who you are..."
Allenini // 12:09 AM

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Sunday, June 26, 2005:

If love is surrendering i surrender myself to you. If a memory causes pain, and i forget that memory, does the pain still remain?

My heart hurts but i cant remember why... i think i'm ok though:-) yes.. i'm ok.
Allenini // 11:14 PM

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Saturday, June 25, 2005:

when u have nothing left to loose u have everythign to gain
Allenini // 4:55 PM

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Friday, June 24, 2005:

and until then, i'll gaurd my heart and keep a close eye on it.
Allenini // 8:42 PM

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Thursday, June 23, 2005:

my heart hurts.. lets keep track of it. 6/22
Allenini // 11:57 AM

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Saturday, June 18, 2005:

i hate being a robot
Allenini // 2:49 AM

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Friday, June 17, 2005:

from a friends profile:

Only in dreams
You see what it means
Reach out a hand
Hold on to hers
But when you wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams.
Allenini // 9:00 PM

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Saturday, June 11, 2005:

...alone with my thoughts
Allenini // 6:11 AM

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Friday, June 10, 2005:


Allenini // 11:37 PM
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005:

crap, i cant sleep... final tomorrow at 11:30,. haven't studied yet... open book, if i get enough sleep i can learn stuff during the test.. hah.. uhhh..
Allenini // 1:25 AM

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Monday, June 06, 2005:

Do you like the person you've become...
Allenini // 12:13 AM

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Sunday, June 05, 2005:

I"m so sorrry... i'm so afraid of letting u down this week... i dunno if i can do it... i'm sorry... i'm so sorry. . .
Allenini // 10:05 PM

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Saturday, June 04, 2005:

My heart hurts... i remember this feeling... hope it doesn't last long... i think they call it despair... but either way.. i am happy to be alive.
Allenini // 2:24 AM

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Wednesday, June 01, 2005:

Like water slipping through your fingers... grasp what little there is left.

Break my legs and i'll still walk away.
Allenini // 2:13 AM

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I'm like a VCR.....I'm easily replaced, but not easily fixed.... Do something that i'm proud of... be proud of what i do Look to the future... but remember the past. My #1 lesson to anyone... DOn't assume what u don't know... and you don't know anything... everythings constantly changing, be open to addapting to alternate thoughts and viewpoints. Don't be so sure of yourself
I feel like i need to talk to you but for once in my life I don't know what to say. I feel as if something went horibbly wrong and that i'm the one to pay. If i were to travel back in time a year from now ... and tell my young self how it would be. He wouldn't believe me or understand what I see. I'd beg and beg for him to make the right choice. So when I returned to the future, I could rejoice. But instead of revealing myself i'll keep things this way. And it looks as though this is how it will to stay.

Allen's plans hm... i needa finish up any projects before the 25th 25th surgery, then after that no more physical activity for a while (6 weeks aprox.) Chill for a while until the 13th. Then time for boston... be back on the 20th. It'd be easier to just fly to san diego direct. But Daniel's parents wanted me to help dan move in.... hm.... ok major dates: 25th Goodbye to my pointy nipple... we had some good times... i'll miss you 13th-20th boston.
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