BANana's

Monday, March 31, 2003:

"your not held responsible for your emotions... but you are held responsible for your actions."
Allenini // 8:17 PM

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"Cuz in a room full of people your the only one around... and nothing in this world could ever bring us down. Baby i'll be there telling you i care..this is why, cuz its the two of us.. the two of us."
Allenini // 2:22 PM

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Sunday, March 30, 2003:

low point of the day:



bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:51:19 PM): hey allen

ALiuzer (7:51:39 PM): hey jeff

ALiuzer (7:51:40 PM): how goes it

bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:51:56 PM): ok iguess

ALiuzer (7:52:00 PM): whats up

bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:52:27 PM): i have a question for you

ALiuzer (7:52:32 PM): go for it

bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:54:07 PM): what did you do to make steph happy?

ALiuzer (7:54:36 PM): um... what do u mean?

bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:55:07 PM): well... lately, she's been a bit stressed out...and im out of ideas on what to do

ALiuzer (7:55:36 PM): there's nothing you can really do

ALiuzer (7:55:47 PM): just dont' add anymore stress is all

ALiuzer (7:56:09 PM): i think... its mainly her that decides weather she's happy or not...

bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:56:27 PM): bleh

bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:56:29 PM): gtg and eat


bLUebOMbeR X6 (7:56:30 PM): laters

ALiuzer (7:57:05 PM): late



why is he doing this to me? ... like its not already hard enough for me being apart from steph. is there nothing i can do to keep her off my mind? OMG... makes me wanna cry whenever i think about it.... i hope jeff takes my advice ...
Allenini // 8:17 PM

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Saturday, March 29, 2003:

"Sorry... i never told you... all i wanted to say."
Allenini // 11:45 AM

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Sunday, March 23, 2003:

i had fun saturdaynight.... watched some people get drunk, some laughing for no reason, some passed out on the ground. i got to see a lot of people from high school, i never really got to get close to them my senior year though, cuz i gave my time to steph instead. I've let my friends slip away for something that was only temporary, i dunno if i can ever make up for the lost time. I have nothing to show for it either.... i'm only a weaker person by it. I question life... weather to have kids or not. I used to always want kids, cuz they're so much fun to mess around with... stupid kids.. hahah. But now, i see life as so much suffering... i don't want my kids to have to go through that. It scares me too that, i'm responsible for where my kids end up too... if i'm a good parent or not determines the success of their future... or if they go to heaven or hell. I can tell i'm thinking to much again.. LoL Merilyn... HELp!! What is your opinion m'am? Oh yeah, i got to curl suyins hair today! hehe aren't ya proud? damn i'm good.. hahah
Allenini // 9:45 PM

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Saturday, March 22, 2003:

nothing to do now but to dwell in my own thoughts.... I'm leaving back for walnut creek in about 2 hours. so i think i'm gonna pack and just clean my room... and think. or try not to think too much...which ever i feel like doing.
Allenini // 3:35 AM

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HEy all, haven't blogged for a while cuz of finals and stuff, that and things were going good till today, then my boat got rocked a little, i think i'm gonna go play some b-ball with niko soon. peace..
Allenini // 2:51 AM

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Thursday, March 13, 2003:

HAppy BIRTHDAY MARILYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MAI!!!!
Allenini // 10:39 PM

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HEy susu, the videos not done yet, but the song is called Senorita, by justin timberlake, i'll send it to u when its done. and yes there is dancing. my quote for the moment. "I am a child living in a grown mans world, but i am i rising star destined for BANANA." by me
Allenini // 12:41 AM

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Sunday, March 09, 2003:

My roomate made this comment today when i was playing my music (eminem cleaning out my closet, then we heard everclear-father of mine) "Do you have any songs that Aren't about death or bad parents?"
Allenini // 2:56 PM

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Saturday, March 08, 2003:

LoL of course, Marilyn, you are the exception to girls being stupid .. right? Well things for me are going ok. Today me and a few friends started making a music video.. hahha It goes to Senorita by Justin timberlake... YEAH !!!! It took like an hour to make about 30 seconds of it, but it looks good so far. 8^D

I can relate to u with those massive readings, when i get into those types of sticky situations i usually ask my good friend sparknotes guide me. But iono if u'll be able to find u'r readings online. Goodluck with that.

Allenini // 12:39 PM

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Friday, March 07, 2003:

So stupid of me... i missed 2 points extra credit Possibly 4 cuz i went to play baseball instead of going to class... i really want an A + in physics... i dunno if i'll still be able to get it. I hope i can... i think i can.
Allenini // 9:26 PM

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Matthias is moving back to germany tomorrow.... how sad. i wont even be there to say bye, but i guess thats how life is.
Allenini // 5:31 PM

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Tuesday, March 04, 2003:

Frente - bizarre love triangle

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
and every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Allenini // 7:00 PM

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Monday, March 03, 2003:

i've decided not to go to any classes today... i have a midterm at 7:30 for chem, but i feel like drawing instead... so i will.
Allenini // 2:14 PM

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"only in my dreams is my dad still alive..."


so... had more dreams, yesterday... in my dream my mom passed away and i started looking at pictures and crying... then today i had a dream that my dad was telling me that they were selling cheap dream cast games at some store.. and i got all excited about video games, but then i realized it must have been a dream... cuz . . . i forget what i was saying cuz my roomate started talking to me.. OH yeah, some background information in the real world, my dad baught me dream cast (video game syste) when he went to visit china. So i ended up having dreamcast before anyone else, and it was pretty expensive too... 300 plus a few games... good times good times. He bought super nintendo there too...

I can feel my memories fading
Allenini // 12:26 PM

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"It hurts too much to remember... its like asking for pain"
Allenini // 3:24 AM

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Sunday, March 02, 2003:

Sometimes i just don't knwo what im thinking. I look back at what i've done and I can only trust that what i've done is right.
For example that smile quote... and giving a crap... i dunno what i was thinking, i guess its funny... but its not true.
Allenini // 8:21 PM

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Now i've lost 2 people in my life...
Allenini // 3:10 PM

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Who can i trust if i can't put my trust in you..i guess i can only trust in myself.


Allenini // 2:50 PM

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i smile cuz i don't really give a crap.
Allenini // 1:37 AM

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Saturday, March 01, 2003:

kiss like an angel... speak like the wind
Allenini // 1:51 PM

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I hitch my wagon onto a star, so may leave this world to a place afar...
Allenini // 1:20 PM

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"who can i trust in if i can't trust myself..."
Allenini // 2:45 AM

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oh yeah, there was this drunk white guy who was standing in the middel of the street waving at cars, then this black of black people were laughing at them so he called'm a bad N$%&ers and started running (pretty well for being under the influence) and then he got on a bus and rode away.. haha, yes goodnight
Allenini // 2:40 AM

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so tonight was pretty fun, went to downtown SD and walked around and stuff.. hahah so much fun, yeah but iono if i can talk about it cuz a few people knwo my blog now....eh whatever, we went into some big building it was fun, and then now i'm baking cookies and ice cream... getting sad though, so i better keep myself occupied or sleep soon. peace!
Allenini // 1:32 AM

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